Bitchslaps from the Universe

Deck Name: Bitchslaps from the Universe
Creator: Catherine Graham
Publisher & Year: Self-published, 2019

Do you have that friend or family member in your life who you know you can go to for some tough love? That person who doesn’t dress anything up or down, just simply sets you straight with some F bombs and some love? Now you can carry that type of love and advice around with you always, in the form of the Bitchslaps from the Universe oracle deck. A tough-talking, fun-loving, no-nonsense deck with the language of a sailor and messages from the divine. Peaceful pastel water colours adorn the cards of this deck, perhaps to soften the blows of truth that come your way. It’s like sitting in a dreamy, outdoor paradise while your chain-smoking grandma tells you what the F is up.

A bit larger than your average deck at 3.5 x 6 inches, it is a teeny bit difficult to shuffle but not undoable. The size does allow for larger print letters, making it more accessible to the sassy crones in your life who will joyfully cackle at the truth and sass of this deck. The card stock is firm with just the right about of bendiness for whatever your shuffling preferences are. There’s no box or guidebook, but the cards fit nicely into a tarot pouch, and the messages are so straightforward, no guidebook is necessary. It comes just as it is, no frills, just like the messages in the deck.

Whether or not you’ll like this deck will depend on your feelings regarding the F bomb. I, personally, am sort of fascinated with the word. It works on so many different grammatical levels. It can be used as a noun, verb, or adverb. It can be used negatively or positively. It’s like the gumby of swear words, it’s so flexible! Also, in my opinion, sentences without swear words can be far more offensive than simply the F bomb to strengthen what you’re saying. So, if you’re okay with being told “Chin up, buttercup, it’s time to make your own fucking magic happen”, then you may enjoy this deck.

Artistically, the water colours are both calming and fun, working nicely with the playful nature of the messages in the deck. The cards aren’t numbered nor are there different sections, just 53 cards with bad ass messages on them. Another no-frills addition that makes one focus more on the messages of the cards than anything else. Despite the many F bombs, the main themes I found in this deck are messages of self-love, self-empowerment, and self-accountability. Sometimes New Age movements get a bad rap due to a lack of balance, only preaching “love and light” and “positive thinking”. Those sorts of messages are rather binary, making one think that there’s just light and dark, good thinking and bad thinking, love and hate. Things are a bit more complicated and murkier than that, I’m afraid, and that’s probably one reason why we value those straight shooters in our lives so much. Bitchslaps provides some light in the murkiness, encouraging us to own up to our shit, to take our power back, and to show and love our fines selves. These types of messages are empowering and hopeful, letting us know that just because we had some limiting belief systems or bad habits doesn’t mean we are “negative” or “bad”. You can let them go and start to learn how to own your power. And Bitchslaps will let you know what you must do.

It was pretty challenging to choose three favourite cards, since every message has a time and place. I therefore decided to choose the three that felt very relevant to my life right now.

  1. Be weird. Love the fuck out of it. That’s where your magic is.

I love this message because conformity can breed so much fear and contempt, and I believe that if there was more space for uniqueness and weirdness, the world would be so much more magical.    

  1. Who you are is enough. It has always been enough. It will always be enough. Every fucking thought, dream, and whisper. It all comes back to the fact: That you are enough.

In a capitalist world that has convinced us that there is always another pot of gold to chase in order to achieve happiness, that there is always something that we could fix about ourselves to be better or more loveable, I adore this message. No work outs required, no fancy creams, no high paying job. Just our own damn selves. Brilliant.

  1. Check your own energy before blaming others for carrying theirs too heavily. You only see in others what you are fucking refusing to see in yourself. It’s time to fucking shift your own shit.

Yeah, we have all been there. Super annoyed with that co-worker or family member who just pisses you off so much. And then, there it is. The lesson. What angers you is in fact something in yourself that needs to be addressed. We have been called out, but what a deep and important lesson to learn. Not one of us is perfect, and we all have to address our own issues instead of always blaming others. Taking responsibility gives us power, blaming others robs us of it.

To wrap this up, I would recommend this deck to anyone who enjoys some tough love mixed with a bit of laughter. If curse words aren’t your thing…. Well…. Perhaps another deck would be better suited. Almost every card has the F bomb on it, with a few other curse words sprinkled in for good measure. However, the messages are so empowering and no-nonsense, the water colours are so lovely, and the laughter feels so good, I am happy to let this cheeky deck call me out every day. So, if your no-nonsense friend is busy, no problem. This deck can dish it out just as good as your friend can.

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